Thoughts on Perspective and Respect

The most important thing for me in a relationship is respect. I understand that this may mean and look different for each person. The song Respect by Aretha Franklin comes to mind. R E S P E C T. Find out what it means to me. I am different than most people, I think, and I have been told that by others throughout my life. The way I think. The way I talk. How I understand and perceive the world and situations. I was told when I was 4 years old that I was different. I told that person, “I am unique.” Personally, I think everyone is unique. Since we are all different, it is imperative that we are willing to learn about each other.

I think it is important to get to know others if we are going to work together. This involves communication and proper communication takes time. I want you to understand where I am coming from. What I believe and why. What I like and don’t like. And most importantly what respect means to me. It is based on the culture of honor. I want to understand where you are coming from. Understanding may not mean agreement. We may have to agree to disagree on some things, but that is okay because peace and relationship are the most important things.

However, lately the Lord has been teaching me about perspective. I have learned that when Adam and Chavah (erroneously called Eve) ate the fruit, their perspective changed from an innocent point of view to that colored by good and evil. This new perspective required them to judge everything and everyone and determine if that thing, situation, person is good or evil. First, they recognized they were naked and judged that this was not good. Therefore, they sewed fig leaves and attempted to hide their nakedness. Then, when Yahweh came calling and began to ask questions, Adam judged what Chavah had done as evil and blamed her for their condition. Chavah then judged the serpent and blamed it for their condition. Ever since, mankind has been judging and blaming.

Then Yeshua came along and taught that we are not to judge in Matthew 7. He said that he didn’t even come to judge. John 12:47 , Luke 19:10 He came to seek and save those that were lost. He came to redeem us.

This is a powerful key. Let’s meditate on it and learn how to have Yahweh’s perspective. When a person does something offensive, rather than jump to judging that person as immature, rude, evil or some other negative things allow the Lord to show you what He wants you to see. Maybe that person is struggling with something or is speaking and acting out of a different belief system. Maybe they have unmet needs. Maybe, just maybe you are triggering something in them. How can you be used by the Lord to help? What can you do to help the situation? Relationship is more important than being right or bringing correction sometimes. Especially if you are a leader in the church, understanding the needs of the people you lead is critical to leading without offending or driving a person away. Maybe that person just needs a little bit of love shown to them in the love language that they understand best. How about being willing to understand them rather than judge them. Maybe they need clarity or understanding of how things work in your house. How about teaching them in love and bringing understanding and clarity. If someone doesn’t know the protocol or your expectations, how can they operate correctly in your eyes? Maybe a class needs to be added to your agenda to teach newcomers these things. If you do not educate someone, then expect them to operate a certain way you set them up for failure. Then when you bring correction, it creates a negative atmosphere. Not everyone has learned to operate the same way as you. Educate first, then if correction is needed, they will understand why and better receive it.

For a person whose main love language is Quality Time like me, it may require you to spend some quality time with them getting to know them and learning to understand where they are coming from. If you have filled or made sure that a person has a full love tank, then if correction is needed it will be received. If they are feeling disrespected and ignored, then they will not listen to correction or if they listen, they will not act on it. You may even drive them away.

In conclusion, I want to encourage you to learn the 5 Love Languages and be willing to love others how they understand love best. Also, study the culture of honor and how to walk in it. Most importantly, let’s be committed to seeing from Yahweh’s perspective rather than through the knowledge of good and evil. Let’s be empowered to stop judging and rather walk in love, honoring and respecting each other, being diligent to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:3 Amen?

Shalom